Blockchain startup actually running on very slow excel file
Too many Macros the likely culprit.
A massive case of fraud has been uncovered, after BlockCorp, a London-based blockchain startup, was found to be running on an Excel file.
Instead of a decentralised network of computers validating information on a private blockchain, the company was in fact hosting a very large excel document on their Microsoft OneDrive.
Clients of BlockCorp spoken to by the B-Suite were understandably hurt and confused by the revelation.
“Here we were thinking the 12 minutes it took for transactions to settle was because they were being validated by a decentralised network of thousands of computers,” said a spokesperson from one high-street bank.
“Turns out it was running that slowly because of a few macros.”
The revelations came after a leak from the startup’s developer team revealled they were not actually spending any time developing code for a custom blockchain application, but were instead working to fix issues with the Excel file.
“In hindsight, I should have seen the signs from the beginning,” said one back-end developer who has since left BlockCorp.
“I’ve been building software for 30 years, and the job description from BlockCorp was the first time I’ve seen ‘In-depth knowledge of VBA’ as an essential quality. I just assumed it was a typo.”
While the announcement has shocked the tight-knit blockchain community, there were some who saw a silver lining in the whole incident.
An anonymous source at Microsoft confirmed the Excel Online team were ecstatic that a 30-year-old piece of software could pass as a cutting-edge blockchain application.